Black Friday is back, folks! Yes, all across Cumbria kindly retailers will be knocking up to 60% off the tat they haven’t been able to sell all year, in order to fill their shelves with overpriced crap for Christmas! But will YOU be taking advantage of the rock bottom discounts?
We’ve been on the streets of our county to find out.
It’s just another example of colonialist white privilege. It should be renamed Friday of Colour, and all profits should go towards reparations to those nations pillaged by slavery. That said, there’s 30% off the iPhone 14 on Amazon, so I’ll probably get one of those.
- Joolz Kilbride, Carlisle
Black Friday is great! Last year I got so much discounted crap I still haven’t got round to opening half of it.
- Ken Morton, Kendal
Sorry, can’t stop – I’ve got a doctor’s appointment.
- Suzy Chan, Workington
Is that the one where you go out at lunchtime, get steaming drunk, and end up in a gutter with your head kicked in? Or is that next month?
- Ronnie Oneless, Barrow
If shopping is the new religion, then Black Friday is the serpent in the Garden of Eden and you will all burn in Hell.
- Rev Charles Pym, Keswick
It’s just a sophisticated marketing con. Far better to invest your hard-earned money in cryptocurrency.
- Shamira Khan, Penrith
It’s the Amazon drivers I feel sorry for. They’ll have to drive even faster and more recklessly to ensure the prompt delivery of all those extra parcels.
- Beattie Lonsdale, Alston
I’ve had a pretty shit year. Why shouldn’t I spend my redundo on loads of stuff I don’t need?
- Tomasz Myskowicz, Carlisle
I always thought Black Friday would be a great name for our band. Unfortunately I was out-voted.
- Billy Scoular, drummer, The Ted Finch Quartet, Whitehaven
Will you be taking advantage of the rock bottom discounts on Black Friday? We’re not really interested, but thought we’d ask anyway.
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